Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Frodo's Fables

I have decided to post our weekly newsletter from our local MTB club, Midrand Country cyclists. Most of the time the reports are from "Frodo", the big MTB Kahuna, who organizes and keeps the rides going...the dude we all rely on and love! The reports follow any main ride that the club does, most cases after the long Saturday ride or well attended races. Here is the one from Saturday training ride...enjoy!

SAT 30th Jan 2010

Rain rain go away, all mountain bikers have had enough of the mud thicker and rougher than day 3 of SABIE, see attached pictures to refresh memories!

“Sallad” and “Silent Assassin” look like shit house technicians at last years SANI after the guys got the bad case of the squirts!

This weekends ride was one muddy affair, we were really surprised when the Mug allowed us to sit and have breakfast after the ride. The other patrons thought an army of bush rekkkies had decided to pop in for breakfast after a camouflage session in the muddy Midrand outback.

Both rides were reclassified as Mud wrestling events and the most impressive participants were "Old Oak' and 'Road Rage" who were both frolicking around in the mud like horny hippo's.

Riding through the mud at Irene was like trying to go down a super tube standing up on roller skates, once you started sliding you had to go with the flow and inevitably ended up on your arse.

I was really popular with the route selection, but hey it was highly entertaining to watch. The A riders completed 75km’s whilst the B riders managed 60km’s.

We had our fair share of mechanicals and without our own AA roadside assistance in the form of the "Silent Assassin" we would not have got home, he is one important guy to have along on the rides, especially when you have the technical skills of the Burnett's on show.

As most are aware nick names have become a sort of tradition in the club rides, heard a humorous story during the ride. Vaughn apparently asked Digby innocently, “ How did you get your nick name Digby?” Digby is his real name! There can be only one “Chainlink”

It is official we do have a SPECIAL group of personalities.

Pleased to announce that “Road Rage” claimed back his RED JERSEY, when he was break dancing in the mud he managed to rip of his old scab and drew blood, talk about winning on a technicality.

Well done to all the C riders who went and competed in the FAST ONE MTB race on Sunday, heard it was fast and flat..

I just have to share this, we were having a braai at “ Vern’s” place on Saturday when Chris popped in, we asked why he does not ride with us anymore and the comment dropped was that we are to slow, careful tiger I will have to set the Old Oak and Die Harder on you to sort you out. The Old Oak did have Chris worried on the morning ride when he chased him up slow poison hill.
Besides Chris, I saw first hand how you ride in groups on Sunday. Chris managed to have “Road Rage” knocked off his bike when messing around with “Vern”. You are obviously not aware of the reason Antony received the nick name “Road Rage”, Chris you nearly had your bar ends wrapped around your ears.

The SANI2C is nearly on us, so another big weekend in the saddle is planned, the boys and girls are putting in the hours and rumors have it that “Vern” has been roped into yet another late stage race entry, he has started using so much “Blue Steel” bum cream that when he farts it sounds like he is gargling!

Week’s rides

Thursday 16h00 Carlswald North

Saturday 06h00 Mug

Sunday 06h00 HEKPOORT 100KM

Chris will be taking the ride so bring the tourniquets. The ride will start from the Hekpoort garage at 6am sharp. A convoy will leave from the Mug at 04h45. Will send directions soon.

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