Thursday, February 25, 2010

Frodos Fables 24 Feb 2010

Well the MCC mountain bikers had another very successful dirty double over the weekend.

The plan was to ride a nice easy 3 hours on Saturday, but this was slightly misleading as I felt guilty about disappointing all the Frodo followers who travel from far the ends of the earth just to get to spend some quality entertainment time on a Saturday club ride.

So the ride ended up being 4h30 much to the horror of Pete ‘Fish Curry” Hawkins who is really starting to show his age, he was getting quite irritable and was seen talking to himself on a couple of occasions, but like a true war veteran he stuck in there like poo on a blanket!

I decided to stick to 3 groups this week due to the strength of the riders being fairly similar. The A and the B riders went out towards Irene and the C group waddled off on their weekly tour of Blue hills, I have promised Geriatric that I will be joining the C ride after Sani to share the Frodo selection of sexy routes.

This does not detract from the wonderful work the old fart has done in looking after as well as developing this group of future Burry Standers, with the exception of Leon “Pop Star” who is ready to pair up with Bill in the new category of Grand Grand Masters!

I was informed through my spies on the route that Neville gave “Pop Star’ a bit of a working over on the 50km ride. They got back to the Mug and ‘Pop Star” was slobbering harder than a bulldog that had chased a parked car for half an hour.

What was refreshing to see was the amount of abuse handed out by the now very cocky Watson Clan as we passed each other on the route, this was another proud moment in my career, it is moments like this that make my function so meaningful.

As far as entertainment goes, Frodo was really out to claim the Red Jersey this week. When I fall I generally make it quite spectacular and I also back it up with a loud noise followed by some rather foul descriptive terms! On Saturday I tried to defy logic that states that you cannot ride a crossing between a Palisade wall if your handle bars are wider than the crossing, the odds of the handle bars hooking in the wall are pretty high!

When my handle bars did hit the fence there was only going to be 1 winner of this fight, my bike acted like a bull that had just been stung on the balls and I ended up in the ditch. What was most disappointing was that for the absolute gracefulness of the dismount I did not draw any blood, the group asked if I wanted to try again so they could all watch, bloody smart arses!

Then we had Elize ‘Pace Snake” Ramsay who decided to show us her swimming skills in a very big muddy puddle, all we needed was another lady and a bottle of baby oil and we could have had some A grade mud wrestling?

At the base of Breakfast Hill, the A and B groups met again, another volley of abuse was fired by King Kev and he managed to block the A riders whilst Watson junior impressively powered to the top of the mother of a climb as King of the mountain!

The rest of the ride was fairly quite apart from when we lost “Detox” and Kingsley, who were off doing there own thing, we did all eventually hook up again. Have to admit though most improved rider on the day was definitely Kingsley, he looks ready for the SANI2C test next week.

As for the blow out of the day, “Try Harder’ earned himself a new nick name, he had to be collected 5km’s from home as he was battling to sit on his bike never mind ride the damn thing. When Old Oak picked him up he was standing there eating a mielie cob see attached picture, it was easy to rename him “Pop-corn”. 10 points for the group trying to push him home!!

Then on Sunday 11 of us hit the fairly unfamiliar route of riding from Midrand to the Cheese farm, it was the most amazing ride, it was 80km’s and it had everything from river crossings to rocky single track and some technical climbs. At the 40km mark we had managed to average 21km/hr and I made a comment to “Road Rage” that the route was not so technical and Elize would have been ok!

Famous last words, the next 15km’s had so many rocks I thought we had passed into Boksburg during a biltong festival!

Needless to say here I managed to claim my second fall of the weekend, again was fairly spectacular, but this one hurt as I landed on a mini rockery!

The ‘Silent Assassin” did a great job in the navigation of the route as well as help Duncan repair his cut side wall of his tyre, this is definitely one that will be rescheduled again.

On the way in to the finish “Road Rage” also had a slight mishap, when we all ducked under a tree, he did not duck enough, his bike carried on and he ended up dangling from the tree like a bunch of grapes, “Fish Curry’, when he had finished laughing, pulled him down, bloody Houtkop.

Vasbyter for the ride was a close toss up between “Fish Curry’ and “Road Rage” but will have to give it to RR as Pete came strong towards the end!

Well done to our professional action snap man, Digby managed to get the MCC riders in all their glory, see attached pictures. Roadies do you see what you are missing?

Does the “Silent Assassin” not look like he was posing for the sports illustrated swimsuit edition?

All SANI2C participants please be in your MTB club colours on Saturday, I would like to have a picture for the Midrand Distorter.

WEEKS RIDES:

THURSDAY 16H00 CARLSWALD NORTH
SATURDAY 05H30 MUG - ELITE GROUP 140KM’S
06H00 MUG
A SILENT ASSASSIN (For the guys who want to go a bit harder and further than 3 hours.)
B FRODO (Chilled 3 hour ride all SANI2C riders will be in this group)
C GERIATRIC

Photos to follow...

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